Insipid Excitement
Claire, 22, from Wisconsin. What you'll find here: cats, food, gayness, nerdiness, books, fandom stuff, rainbows, and more cats.
Reblogged from hatteress
Help a girl out. I don’t game, but I know a heap of you do. I’ve just been posed this from a male friend who doesn’t believe women should be catered for in the gaming industry:
Question: how many women would specificly buy FPS because it has a female protagonist holding a gun? Would you?
So. Would you? Hit like if so and do me a favour and reblog. I need notes on this baby.
Reblogged from stereksbutt
Derek’s Loft
Bonus:
I have a perfect fandom! :)
Blessings be upon this post, and upon Derek’s furniture, and especially upon his boxer shorts. Amen.
So if that’s Derek’s bed in the corner, what’s up the staircase?
Nothing. It’s just a big room that he likes to keep bare and empty like his soul.
He doesn’t know what’s upstairs. He doesn’t do stairs. That’s why everything is on the lower level. ;)
Can you just imagine Stiles and Scott coming over for the first time though? Stiles just bounds straight up the stairs and is all, “hey bro, there’s like, a whole other apartments-worth of space up here!” and Isaac has to make significant eyebrows at him while Derek looks uncomfortably at the floor because, dude, we don’t talk about the stairs.
forever disappointed this isn’t derek’s bed:
(also if i’ve learned anything from these pics it’s that the only way anyone ever got the full tour of derek’s loft was by beating the crap out of him from room to room)
I want THAT story, please:
“Nice light in here,” Deucalion said, glancing up at the skylight as he backhanded Derek, knocking him down between the kitchen cabinets, the edge of reclaimed wood counter opening a long gash on Derek’s temple.
In the bathroom, Deucalion’s hands closing around Derek’s throat, forcing him down against the vintage tile that Derek had laid by hand, thin opaline tiles, worn at the edges, Derek’s blood dark against their faintly luminous surface.
Can we just take a moment to recognize that our fandom is excited about a character’s living space? Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as happy about it as everyone else, but I’m also terribly amused by the whole thing. Most other fandoms barely ever mention aspects of a character’s house, and here we are overjoyed that Derek has a bed, a lamp, a bathroom, etc. It’s both sad and hilarious (much like Derek…).
"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."
Reblogged from hatteress
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via hasser)
(Source: marleestormborn)
